The Power of Mindfulness in Healing | Natalie Bedard
Episode # 27
Natalie Bedard, also known as NatNat, is an 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 committed to guiding others on their journey of self-discovery and emotional well-being. As the founder of Lift OneSelf and the host of the Lift Oneself podcast, she’s been transforming lives since 2019 by offering tools to regulate the nervous system, relieve emotional pain, and transform anxiety into empowerment.
“You are not your thoughts.”
Summary
In this episode, Jessica Vanrose and Natalie Bedard explore the transformative power of energy healing and mindfulness practices. Natalie shares her personal journey of overcoming trauma and illness through meditation and emotional regulation. The conversation delves into the importance of feeling emotions, the role of vulnerability and self-compassion in healing, and practical tools for managing anxiety. Listeners are encouraged to choose themselves, build trust with their inner selves, and recognize the value of their experiences in the journey of self-discovery and empowerment.
Takeaways
Energy healing can transform lives and promote self-discovery.
Mindfulness practices, like meditation, are essential for emotional regulation.
Feeling emotions is crucial for healing; bypassing them can lead to more pain.
Vulnerability and self-compassion are key components of personal growth.
Choosing yourself over others' comfort is a powerful act of self-love.
Building trust with yourself is foundational for healing.
Anxiety can be transformed into a source of empowerment.
It's important to create safety in your healing journey.
Healing is about removing layers of pain to reveal your true self.
You are worthy of the work it takes to heal.
“You are worth the work.”
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Energy Healing and Personal Journey
06:07 Creating Safe Spaces for Emotional Expression
12:01 Understanding and Engaging with Emotions
17:49 The Importance of Feeling and Vulnerability
23:46 Channeling Intense Emotions for Positive Change
29:42 Trusting Yourself and Healing from Trauma
35:11 The Importance of Intimacy with Self
49:02 Transforming Anxiety into Empowerment
01:00:47 Final Thoughts on Healing and Self-Compassion
“Can’t doesn’t exist.”
Jessica Vanrose (00:01.214)
Welcome or welcome back to Life After Trauma. I'm Jess, your certified trauma informed life coach. If you're new to the podcast, we bring women from around the world together through conversations that will empower, support and inspire you on your healing journey. Today we have Natalie Bedard on the podcast with us. Natalie is an energy healing specialist committed to guiding others on their journey of self discovery.
and emotional wellbeing. As the founder of Lift One Self and the host of the Lift One Self podcast, she has been transforming lives since 2019 by offering tools to regulate the nervous system, relieve emotional pain, and transform anxiety into empowerment. Thank you so much for being here today, Natalie.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (00:53.549)
Thank you so much, Jessica. I'm so excited to be here. And I want to thank you for giving me the most valuable gift you could give, which is your time. And you're also introducing me and bringing me into your audience. So that safety and trust is really an honor. So before we started recording, we were connecting really deeply. So I'm looking forward to this conversation and how deep we're going to go.
Jessica Vanrose (01:19.48)
Same to you. I do really appreciate your time and just being here. So thank you. Let's start out with some background. Can you share with us what energy healing is and how you got into it?
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (01:34.945)
So almost 11 years ago, I had brain lesions in my cerebellum and in my brain stem, and I was given a prognosis of six months to live. And I was admitted in the hospital for almost 40 days, went through a battery of tests to try to find out what was the cause of the lesions, which they couldn't find a diagnosis. So I was released from the hospital without a diagnosis. So that means without a plan.
And I was a solo parent to three boys and two of them were twins at the age of four. So I was, you my body practically almost shut down. I wasn't able to walk on my own. I had vertigo, wasn't having a bowel movement for like six weeks. I was vomiting everywhere. Like it was real, not a nice scene to go through. So, you know, coming home, I had to really...
make a decision of what my lifestyle was going to be and really make those adjustments and really be intentional with the parent I was going to be to show up for the twins at such a young age. And thankfully, a year later, that's when I discovered meditation in the form of TM, which is transcendental meditation. And when you learn that they tell you to create a quiet space in your home and to meditate twice a day for 20 minutes.
And as I said, solo parent with twin boys at the age of five that time, there is no quietness in the house. So I took meditation to the living room, onto the couch. And when I would meditate, I would feel my nervous system want to interrupt the twins fighting, wanting to turn down the TV, wanting to figure out what this noise was down the street, wanting to, and just feeling the disruption.
yet being able to come back to back then it was a mantra that I was using because they give you a sound to distract the mind and go into the subconscious. So just, you know, regulating the nervous system that way. And the more that I was allowing that the more that there was somatic releases. So the trauma that I had experienced when I was a child, all that suppressed emotion, which is energy was coming up in my body. So
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (03:56.141)
there were the shivers and the shakes and the belly, like the heart wrenching crying. I remember just being almost debilitated in my bed floor, just sobbing. Because in that, sometimes with a somatic release also, it's not, you see the narrative of what you created with the experience, yet you also see the choices that you made. And you have to...
Most times we want to chastise ourselves because of the choice. We're not seeing it, well, you did it because of protection. You didn't know how to trust yourself. You didn't know how to believe in yourself because of the environment. you know, to make sense of that, you have to give context for yourself and really start engaging with these emotions that you've never felt before. And that can be overwhelming in its own. And so...
You know, the more profound that I got with the meditation and understanding my nervous system and regulating it more, I was, when they were older, the twins, I was doing a silent day of not speaking so I could really engage more with my emotions because we tend to be very reactive with words and not really feel first so that we can go into a response. So using that parenting role to look at the mirror for myself. So whatever stages they were at,
I could feel things coming up in me that it was loosening up those suppressed parts of whatever stage they were at that I may have experienced certain things that I didn't, I wasn't able to process fully. So, you know, I just kept going more profound, more profound and just opening up the space and creating safety in my body. And the more I was doing that, my body was coming back online.
Jessica Vanrose (05:28.366)
Thank
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (05:45.867)
And then people were coming to me and talking to me very openly, strangers at a bus stop, I'd be sitting there and they're like, I don't know why I'm wanting to tell you this, but I just feel so safe. And, know, now I understand it's co-regulation with my nervous system that they feel the safety and the openness. Back then, I didn't really have the verbiage. I just understood I held that space of non-judgment.
And so in 2019, that's when, you know, I meditated on it profoundly. And that's where I created the name Lift One Self, which is lift the ego, which is the defense mechanisms of the nervous system that guard the vulnerability. And then once you can surrender those defense mechanisms, you're in the one self in your vulnerability, which allows you to have that superpower. And now since 2019, I've been helping others.
while I create a safe space for them to be honest and feel. And if you're willing, I would like to bring us into a mindful moment, a short little meditation so the listeners can a little bit understand the space that I provide, that they can even access this tool many times throughout the day, which a lot of people are like, how do I start this? And it's like, if you can do this, this will do profound
healing within yourself.
Jessica Vanrose (07:10.985)
Yes, definitely I would love that.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (07:13.377)
Okay, for the listeners, many listen to a podcast while driving. So safety first. When I ask Jessica and myself to close our eyes, please don't do that prompt, yet the other prompts you're able to follow. So I'm going to ask you to get comfortable in your seating, Jessica. And if it's safe to do so, I'm going to ask you to gently close your eyes. And you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose.
You're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose. You're not going to try and control your breath. You're just going to be aware of its rhythm, allowing it to guide you into your body.
There may be some sensations or feelings coming up and it's okay. Let them come up. You're safe to feel, you're safe to let go.
surrender the need to control, release the need to resist and just be.
Be with your breath. Drop deeper into your body.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (08:27.789)
There may be some thoughts or to-do lists that have come up or things that have happened during the day and that's okay. Gently bring your awareness back to your breath. Creating space between the awareness and the thoughts and dropping deeper into your body. Just being with the breath.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (08:53.515)
Again, more thoughts may have popped up. It's okay. Bring your awareness back to your breath. Beginning again, creating even more space between the awareness and the thoughts and dropping even deeper into the body.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (09:17.751)
and allowing yourself to just be with the breath.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (09:27.669)
Now at your own time and at your own pace, you're going to gently open your eyes while still staying with the breath.
Jessica Vanrose (09:48.962)
That was beautiful.
Jessica Vanrose (09:52.909)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (09:54.263)
So this is a profound tool to use that we forget to access our breath. I know some people might be, tell me to breathe. Because, you know, automatically we do that. It's the missing part is bring your awareness to your breath. And the reason why you're looking at your breath is what are you actually feeling? Many of us don't even know how to articulate or even feel what's going on internally. So to create that safety for yourself to actually
let that feeling pass through you, it takes a lot of practice and it takes a lot of strength and courage to do that, to interrupt the patterns. Because we know, you know, if rage comes up or if anger comes up or if you just want to shut down, it's really challenging to come out of that state of mind, out of that feeling in your body. Yet if you practice, you know,
Jessica Vanrose (10:45.74)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (10:52.297)
accessing your breath when you're regulated. When you're in a high alert, then you can get a little signal, yeah, the breath, the breath, let me go there to try to interrupt this pattern and be able to feel and choose something different.
Jessica Vanrose (11:07.886)
Yeah, that was a game changer for me. And so I really didn't learn about regulating your nervous system until probably last year. I had started meditation, like probably 10 years ago, but never saw how it connected with the regulation. And I had a big breakup last year. And it was
You know those feelings where you're at home alone, always comes up at night and it's like, you get that rush of panic. Like, I need to text him. I need, like, yeah. And those kept coming up and every time it came up, I was like, okay, you need to just breathe. You need to just breathe and this feeling is going to pass. And that's what I did.
It got me through those like really rough, don't know how long it was, but yeah, exactly. Of like that feeling of panic. That's probably like the most recent intense that I can think of. But yeah, it's so powerful.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (12:12.556)
Tsunami waves.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (12:18.413)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (12:28.811)
It is. you know, the emotion that has been coming up recently a lot when our conversations and even in my own experience is the feeling of helplessness. We don't even know how to engage with the helplessness. We just want to do a hot potato and get it off of us and or numb it and just uh-uh. Yet when you can hold the space and give yourself some verbiage, I'm feeling helplessness.
and I'm going to want to try to control or do something to not feel this. Yet if you can ride those tsunami waves, the more it doesn't activate your nervous system because you're familiar with, this is what this thing is, this feeling, this sense of protection, yet I don't necessarily have to take action. But we want to.
Jessica Vanrose (13:20.694)
Yes, and, and that that feeling will pass because in that moment, it's like, my god, I'm going to feel like this forever. Like, this is never going to go away. And it will go away. It will.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (13:24.93)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (13:33.867)
Yeah, it doesn't feel like it though in the moment and you have some it's just like, you know, if anybody has been in labor, given child or seen it on TV, those labor where you're seeing the chart climb, climb, climb, climb, and then it's like, my gosh, it's never going to end. And women that have been in labor, like some of their contractions just last forever and ever. It feels like. But eventually it goes back down. Yet, you know, it's supposed to be a 90 second chemical.
drop that you go through, yet it's the story and narrative that continues on that we just keep it going with. And that's the part that you want to interrupt that you no longer identify with that part. So I don't know if you noticed when I was doing the mindful moment, I invited people to see their thoughts, and then to create that space so that they see that, I'm not my thoughts. And it's like, no, you're not. But a lot of people don't even understand that concept.
Jessica Vanrose (14:05.262)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Vanrose (14:11.554)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (14:33.059)
because they haven't been able to engage with it.
Jessica Vanrose (14:35.764)
Yes, I have mentioned this book so many times now on different podcasts, but have you read The Untethered Soul?
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (14:44.363)
I do you listen to his podcast? yes. Sound True has him. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think like every, you know, kind of election, they really bring out him so that they have it like where the path like they had three episodes last week and then two this week. So when there's high anxiety, like Tammy Simon, I think really understands and knows how Mickey can just get you in that.
Jessica Vanrose (14:47.168)
No?
Jessica Vanrose (14:53.261)
Okay.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (15:13.303)
you know, be responsible and accountable for that nervous system and regulating it. So yeah, no, the untethered soul in the surrender experiment. yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, very profound. I recommend it also.
Jessica Vanrose (15:16.942)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (15:23.692)
that. Yeah, I think reading that book, I don't remember how long ago this was now. But reading that book, that was my first moment of being like, my god, you're right. I'm not my thoughts. If I can hear my thoughts that I'm not my thoughts. So like, yeah, it was a cool moment. But I love that book so much.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (15:43.363)
That's a thing.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (15:49.291)
Yeah, me too. And I go back to it because the more that your awareness expands, the more you're going to comprehend what he's saying in much more profoundness. It's not just a one time thing. It's like there's much more depth to it when you reread it again. It's like, that's what I was stopping at this point and I can go deeper and this is what I or you've gone back into a pattern and you have to be reminded you're doing it again. It's like come out of that. It's like
But it's so comfortable there. I don't want to go in the discomfort of the unknown and the uncertainty. And it's like, that's where your liberation is. it's like, the work, it's like, okay, the reminders of it.
Jessica Vanrose (16:31.432)
Yes, exactly. So talking about regulation, can you give us some tools that we can use to help us regulate our nervous system?
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (16:43.907)
Well, that mindful moment that we just did, that is the most powerful one to really be able to access in real time. Journaling is another one to be able to write because you have something tangible and you can get those thoughts outside of your mind because you can create a whole scenario and justification. you know, the nervous system, the defense mechanisms of that nervous system, the ego is very intelligent.
It's always wanting to protect you, even though it feels like a pain in the, you know what, at times, because it's like, why are you not just, and it's like, wait, it's protection. So rather than if you try to beat at it, it's just going to get more defensive. It's like, how do I open up and surrender into this and, and allow it to disarm itself? So journaling helps us to see what we have created as a narrative in our mind and put it down on paper.
The biggest thing about healing is you have to feel. I know people want to bypass this part and you can bypass and get some results, but guess what? It's going to catch up with you at a certain point. It's going to be like an elastic band. You're going to pull, pull and you're like, yeah, and then it snaps back and it's like, what you have to feel and the feeling.
Jessica Vanrose (17:46.36)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Vanrose (17:56.366)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (18:10.909)
aspect is remembering that you're not to identify with it. And we identify with our emotions. So it's allowing that space to go through and listening to the data, but not allowing them to hijack your behavior, which it's going to it's a messy process. There is no, you know, linear and you're going to get it all perfect and everything. It being human is very challenging and human ing with other humans.
Jessica Vanrose (18:15.362)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (18:37.394)
Wow.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (18:40.019)
It's a lot of work, yet you always got to remember your work is within yourself. Even though it's really easy to blame and see, because when you start doing your work, boy, you can catch up, this is this wound, this is that wound, they have this inner child, they have that. And it's like, but where are you in this? Like, why are you looking at everybody else? And that could be another escapism of judgment that, you know, instead of just being the observer.
and just holding space for that. So you get to learn that. So journaling, having to feel and feeling, you know, at the beginning to do it on your own could feel like a lot of harm. Because if you were harmed in trauma, physically, sexually or psychologically, to start feeling this can feel like a threat and feel very harmful because you're...
Jessica Vanrose (19:10.082)
Yeah. Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (19:35.923)
not really making sense of what's going on, like what's past, present or future. So if you have somebody that you can co-regulate so that they can hold the space of witnessing and that you can feel those emotions and then you see that they didn't pull back from you. Yet you have to make sure that it's a person that understands their role and responsibility because if they do pull back, then that can set you back of, I can't trust these emotions. I can't feel them.
Jessica Vanrose (19:41.006)
you.
Jessica Vanrose (19:51.182)
Hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (20:03.265)
and cause even more harm and set back into your process of growth and change, if that makes sense.
Jessica Vanrose (20:10.41)
It does. I was going to say about the feeling, your feeling your feelings. We are so scared to feel them because it hurts. We don't want to hurt. But it's you have to find vulnerability. I think that was one of my other biggest lessons is finding vulnerability.
not only with other people, like people that you can trust, but also with yourself. And it's allowing yourself to not be perfect and to have compassion for yourself and open up to these things that you're feeling. And those feelings are valid and it's okay for you to feel them. Like,
If you're angry, there's such a negative connotation around anger that you shouldn't be angry. And it's like, no, that is okay. Anger is a valid feeling. You are allowed to feel that. And so just like.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (21:18.775)
Anger gets such a bad rap and I tell people to befriend anger and they're like, what are you talking about? Anger is so evil. I'm like, do you understand what do you understand what anger is? What kind of emotion it is? Do you know? Yeah, I'm asking you Jessica.
Jessica Vanrose (21:32.994)
Are you laughing? What do you mean?
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (21:39.605)
What is the purpose of anger?
Jessica Vanrose (21:41.614)
Hmm, I think so. Okay. I like this question. The first thing that comes to my mind is that it's protection because it's either triggering something or there is something inside of you that is like this is not okay. so protection. I think that would be my answer.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (22:05.187)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah, it's a protective energy. And how I give another visual for people is anger is the bodyguard for sadness and fear. So many of us don't even know how to engage with the fear. And so, you know, because it's, it's usually anger, sadness, fear, yet we have the transient other emotions that help us give verbiage of our experience. So when anger comes up, it's most times we get reactive and we
Jessica Vanrose (22:17.302)
Hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (22:36.639)
either fight or we freeze. And it's if we can hold the space of what are you trying to protect? What is the emotion that's trying to come up, that's trying to have language, yet the defense mechanisms up here, because we have to protect that vulnerability. We have to protect these authentic emotions from coming up because we haven't been mature enough to be able to experience it and feel it.
Jessica Vanrose (22:44.034)
Yes.
Jessica Vanrose (23:03.437)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (23:03.657)
And so it's not easy to act like when you are in rage and anger and especially if you've been harmed with trauma like, you know, in your life, that protective is going to come up and you have to thank it and honor it. Because berating it, getting angry with it, telling yourself shouldn't, couldn't all that. That's just denial and bypass. It's being able to acknowledge and accept what are you feeling right now. So I'm feeling anger. And like you said, validate your experience.
Jessica Vanrose (23:15.918)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (23:32.353)
This emotion is healthy. It's when it hijacks your behavior, that's the unhealthy.
Jessica Vanrose (23:38.282)
Exactly. And this is where we come back to the breath because you know, when that surge of anger comes in, you can breathe, can pause, don't react to it, just pause and breathe and figure out where you're at. And then you can respond instead of react. And that's just so much healthier for relationships.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (24:04.029)
And you know, at the beginning when you're engaging with anger and you want to disrupt the pattern, I tools that I give my clients is scream in a pillow, find a smash room, find the nature and you can start pelting rocks and just screaming so that you can kind of have that temper tantrum that you possibly didn't weren't allowed to when you were a child to be able to regulate yourself with because anger has an intense energy. Like if you can channel it for good.
Jessica Vanrose (24:13.473)
Yes.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (24:33.537)
Wow, you get a lot done with that energy. Yet many of us don't know how to be intentional with that energy. And that's why I say the anxiety to empowerment. Because once you understand the energy, then you can channel it of, let me use it towards this intention, not just, you know, puke it out anywhere and try to do hot potato and offload it. And you're going to do that. Okay. You're going to make mistakes and
Jessica Vanrose (24:36.386)
Definitely.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (25:02.623)
That is why you need radical compassion because, you may know something, but if if knowing changed the world, the world would be totally different. OK. Many of us know better. To embody it and be connected in our body, we're not there. Many of us are just stuck in our head, intellectualizing things, intellectualizing our feelings. We're not actually even feeling our feelings.
Jessica Vanrose (25:06.435)
Hmm.
Jessica Vanrose (25:14.934)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Jessica Vanrose (25:28.75)
Yeah, you need to get into the body.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (25:29.559)
So I just want to give grace to somebody that might be listening and they're being hard on themselves and thinking like, I keep trying and I'm not accessing it. And it's like, well, just view it as protection this way. Rather than berating yourself that it shouldn't be there, it's here right now. Be curious of why is it here? Why is this pattern repeating itself?
Jessica Vanrose (25:53.91)
Yeah, how I release the intensity of the anger is very similar to what you recommend. But I take my pillow and I just beat it against my bed. I basically beat up my pillows and my bed. Yeah, because you just you have to release it, you have to get that intensity out. And then afterwards, you can you can sit down and figure out what's actually like going on.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (26:22.997)
Exactly. Yeah. And I remember, like, you know, some of my clients, when I introduced that first time, and they're like, I can't, I can't. And like, viscerally how their biology is, like, stopping them. And they're like, this is stupid. This is like, like that. And then when they actually do it, they're like, it feels like such a relief. Like a whole ton of bricks came off. And they're like, I can't believe that that action. And I'm like, yeah, it was energy. Like.
Jessica Vanrose (26:23.02)
so that you can move forward.
Jessica Vanrose (26:43.31)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (26:49.772)
Yeah. Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (26:51.199)
It's overloading in you.
Jessica Vanrose (26:53.322)
Mm hmm, exactly. Yeah, it's so true. Because the first time that I had the urge to do it, I probably saw it somewhere online, like a reel or TikTok or something. And the first time that I thought about doing it, was like, I can't do this. This is ridiculous. Like, I'm an adult and I'm going to beat up my pillow. But then I did it. And I was like, holy shit. Like, I
It's just an immediate relief, like from that intensity. It's, yeah, it's incredible.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (27:28.961)
is you're validating what people don't recognize, you're actually validating the emotion. So now it's not trying to like tug at you, see me, see me, you're meeting it and allowing it to have expression. And it's an expression that is a feedback loop, not one that's going to be a negative one because it hijacked your behavior because you wouldn't validate it.
Jessica Vanrose (27:52.131)
Right?
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (27:52.551)
by validating it and giving it expression, it's able to release and then you're able to hear the information that it was that it's trying to come up with you. And just because it's information, it doesn't mean that necessarily you're always going to take action with it. Sometimes it's just, you know, feeling the helplessness or feeling hurt or not getting your way with something or, you know, feeling rejection doesn't feel good or abandonment, all these different narratives.
Jessica Vanrose (28:07.576)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (28:20.279)
that could be happening with emotions. Yet other times it can be, you're, you know, having to see somebody is mistreating you and because you want to conform and you're in that fawn state of your nervous system of people pleasing or helping your body's trying to tell you like, stop doing this. We don't need to do this anymore. We don't need to conform and kind of beg people to want to belong with them and get treated and devalued.
So your body, until you feel that, then it's like, okay. And to be able to value yourself and come back into worth, that's its own work also. Yet you're worth the work of that.
Jessica Vanrose (28:49.161)
So.
Jessica Vanrose (29:00.206)
Totally.
Yes, absolutely. So that actually, I had written out, it's quite a long question. Because I have a thought before, but this leads perfectly into it. So you put out a thoughtful reel on Instagram earlier this week, where you spoke about how when we're raised in chaos and unhealthy environments, that as we grow up, we still find comfort in the familiarity of being devalued. And this
really spoke to me because that was me years ago. We might not even recognize that being degraded is harmful because it's like, my dad treated me this way my whole life. So it's normal or worse. So this must be what love looks or feels like. But in the real, you're talking about when you start to become aware that it doesn't feel good and there's something else or something better.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (29:51.011)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Vanrose (30:00.96)
and you say your job is no longer to put people at ease, it's to choose yourself. What I want to know, how can we put that into practice? What does it look like to choose yourself over someone else's comfort?
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (30:07.063)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (30:19.523)
my limbic system just activated with this, because it's like, woo. For many years, because of my childhood trauma, I othered myself out of society and belonging human, so I was outside of my worth. And then when I finally did the work and doing the meditation and coming back into worth, and then seeing where
your nervous system creates a narrative and it's going to protect you in the environment. Your nervous system goes by feeling, does not go by intelligence. So if you are were in an environment and this was the best that you could have, and this is like you said, and how I said in the reel, you defined what value is and how you're going to be treated and how you gave yourself your own narrative.
protect yourself because of the environment that you were in, then that just creates a script. So then you attract that because that feels comfortable to you. Even though logically you might be accessing like this person isn't treating me right, but you know what? This is the best I can get. So let me in. It's familiar. And if it's familiar, your nervous system's like, I can, I can assess it. I know.
Jessica Vanrose (31:38.147)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (31:47.297)
I can predict it, I know what's going to happen. Once you become aware and you start regulating, that's where the possibilities come in and that's where your perception starts to shift. Everything that I'm saying, people think it's going to be on the outside of them. This is all internal work. This is all in valuing yourself and loving yourself and coming back into believing in yourself.
Jessica Vanrose (31:50.114)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Vanrose (31:58.947)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (32:14.999)
Because what trauma does is trauma separates you from self. And then you have all these layers of pain because people think like, I had trauma and I have to be a new person or growth is about being a new person. it's like, no, healing is about removing the layers of pain to get to the greatness that's already inside you. So that journey is within you. Yet you have to be honest with yourself. And many of us
Jessica Vanrose (32:35.436)
Yeah, coming back.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (32:42.849)
We know how to BS more than to be honest and truthful. Yet if you can start the work of engaging with your nervous system and seeing, know what, asking yourself, would I want my friend to be treated this way? So why am I allowing this for myself? Like just being curious with some questions to start, you know, relating to the nervous system to calm it down so that it can open up to other possibilities.
Jessica Vanrose (32:58.318)
Hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (33:13.417)
also being frank of what am I not seeing about myself that potentially is devaluing me? Where do I see the value and worth in myself? Like intellectually, are the actions matching up with the story that I'm creating? Because we create a story that's really beautiful. The thing is, is to pop the bubble of that story and be in the actual reality.
Jessica Vanrose (33:27.16)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (33:42.111)
yet it's in to create the comfort and the discomfort because you got to rewire your nervous system to now. You know, when all of a sudden you're going to tell people no to give yourself a yes, you're going to think you're selfish. You're a bad person. You were supposed to be there and it's going to feel yucky. It's going to stink. Why? Because it doesn't feel safe to go into your worth.
Jessica Vanrose (34:04.632)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (34:10.955)
It doesn't feel safe to choose yourself. If that makes sense.
Jessica Vanrose (34:15.67)
Well, it does not totally does. So talking about trauma, especially from like a childhood like you lived with it for most of your life. When we do finally reach that point of awareness or
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (34:27.939)
Mm.
Jessica Vanrose (34:41.976)
just that turning point in your life where you start realizing that things were not great and that they can be better. And you want to learn to love yourself or build your worth. Where do you think we start that journey?
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (35:14.051)
You have to begin trusting yourself. And it's so difficult to trust yourself. Because when you start doing the self-awareness, you see that you chose certain people that harmed you or that devalued you. So then you're like, how can I trust this part that was picking people or places? Like once you become trauma-informed, you understand that you will attract the experiences that you were into. And it's not intentionally.
it's again that familiar chaos and narrative that you've created for yourself. So in that it's not like a simple
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (35:53.163)
It's not a simple place to come into. It's, you know, it's there's trust and there's intimacy. You have to be intimate with yourself. And people think intimates, go ahead.
Jessica Vanrose (35:56.686)
Mm-mm.
Jessica Vanrose (36:07.544)
When, yeah, I was going to say when you're scared of that though. I was terrified of intimacy with anybody including myself.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (36:18.923)
And that's why it's so important to be intimate with ourselves. We're trying to look for that outside in partners. And that's why a lot of partners, it becomes very combative or argumentative or challenging because you're trying to place something on them that isn't their responsibility. It's your own. But make me feel safe. Make me feel loved. Make me feel attractive. Make me feel wanted. Make me feel chosen.
Jessica Vanrose (36:47.927)
Yes.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (36:48.407)
when those are all your responsibility, yet the world lures you that, you know, pick the person and they'll be your better half and all that. And it's like, no, this is your work. Are you choosing yourself? And a lot of times we'll probably answer like, no, other people, my children have to come before me, my spouse, my parents, my friends, my work, all this stuff. And it's like, well, when do you get chosen? By you? When do you validate yourself?
Jessica Vanrose (37:14.53)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (37:18.529)
When do you, like you said, allow yourself to feel your emotions without, you know, name calling or ridiculing yourself, apologizing for it. How many times do we go into tears and we apologize? Like as if it's a disservice. And it's like, how do you honor yourself? You know, I'm, I'm 50 and it's only this year that I'm like comfortable in my skin.
Jessica Vanrose (37:26.35)
Hmm.
Jessica Vanrose (37:33.206)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (37:49.057)
Like really comfortable in my skin and confident in recognizing like how amazing I am. What presence I bring. Does it mean like sometimes I'm not like, this is what the hell and of course those narratives come in. They, they, still have to work at that part of my nervous system. I've had significant trauma for decades that were suppressed. So just because you awake to it, it doesn't mean that, it's all gone now.
It's the work to not fall back asleep and go into the autopilot of it. So when somebody is beginning this journey, the kindness is important. The accountability is important. Finding someone that is dedicated to reminding you of how great you are.
Jessica Vanrose (38:18.03)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Vanrose (38:31.222)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (38:43.807)
And that person may not stay for the whole journey. There may be somebody else that you open up to that they even bring you into other dimensions. It's the safety that you need. Safety is always paramount with this work. We know, especially with trauma, we know to detect, we have a radar in us. We look, you're not emotionally available. I can't show him my emotion. I can't do this with you. So.
And then when people are showing it's like, I don't know, because I was harmed when I did this before. So it's difficult to open up. Yet the person that you need to do this with is yourself. But it feels like a threat. So that's why sometimes hiring a professional that can hold that space for you, that you can see what's possible. Because once you experience something, you cannot argue yourself out of your own experience. Because you've experienced it.
Jessica Vanrose (39:22.766)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (39:37.695)
If I tell you something, you're like, yeah, that's great, but that wasn't my experience. Yet if you experienced it, like you said, I went through a heartbreak, a breakup. I wanted to text, but I sat with it. sat with it. You expanded your experience. So now you can't argue yourself like, I don't have the capacity. You may not want to do it again, yet you saw that you were, you had the ability to navigate through that.
Jessica Vanrose (40:03.522)
Mm-hmm. Yup.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (40:05.345)
So it's to be tender with yourself, to be sensitive, to be honest, and to trust yourself. Yet the crux of it is you're going to have to feel to get back into you, into loving you, to being in your life force.
Jessica Vanrose (40:23.67)
Yeah. Yeah. My I think my healing journey started with meditation, actually. And it is not that it was easy. But it's accessible. It literally costs nothing. And you you can just sit and do it anywhere and for any length of time, especially in the beginning.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (40:46.122)
anywhere.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (40:51.629)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (40:53.472)
So I started there and then I found yoga and both of those things especially combined, they brought me back into my body because with trauma like you mentioned, I was totally disconnected. I spent most of my life feeling dissociated, like I was just out of my body and the
It's such a weird feeling when you experience the like floating above and watching your life happen. And yeah, so, so trippy is the word that's coming to my mind.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (41:35.811)
And then when you learn meditation, they tell you to observe. So it's like, I'm the awareness and I'm observing, but am I disassociating again? Or am I being the observer and feeling so that even in itself can get very confusing for a person.
Jessica Vanrose (41:52.462)
Yeah, it can for sure. But that I think that the meditation and maybe maybe you can help me understand this better. But doing the meditation and the yoga, I was able to build up my I don't know if it was my confidence or if it was my worth. But ultimately, it ended up building up
my my self love, my self worth and my self confidence. Yeah, they're both just amazing practices.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (42:24.195)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (42:28.791)
Yeah, I think once you're in your worth, confidence is already there because nobody can take anything away from you. You're just being you and you know that it's a superpower to be you and uniquely you and what other people think of you, it doesn't impact you like when you're not in your worth and you're trying to grasp that validation on the outside. So the confidence just automatically, you know, is there, it's embodied.
Jessica Vanrose (42:33.934)
Mm.
Jessica Vanrose (42:52.182)
Yes.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (42:58.355)
and it exudes, know, and it's like, yeah, and you come to see like how amazing you are. Even if like, you know, your hair is not done, you got bad breath, you know, stain on your shirt, you're like, I'm okay. Like it's great to be me. Before this would have, my gosh, nobody could see me this way or whatnot. Yet now it's like, my gosh, like I'm me, I'm in my being and
Jessica Vanrose (42:58.872)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (43:09.516)
You
Jessica Vanrose (43:13.144)
Yeah. Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (43:27.863)
How amazing is that? It's without words. Like it's really difficult to put this into words to really capture the fullness of what that feels like.
Jessica Vanrose (43:41.326)
I agree. I, it's so funny that you chose that wording because literally just, think it's, it's the podcast episode that just came out yesterday on my podcast. I had gone on a solo date and normally for a solo date, I just go to like a coffee shop and I'll get a coffee and read.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (43:42.445)
There's like a lot of nuance.
Jessica Vanrose (44:09.294)
And this time I was like, no, I'm going to a restaurant. And I got a full bottle of wine and a meal. And I sat there and it was date night. And there were couples all around me. Were like groups of friends. And I sat there with my full bottle of wine and my plate of food. And I literally wrote down, I was like, first of all, I don't think anybody is judging me. But if they are judging me, like
judge away, it literally doesn't matter. It doesn't affect me or my moment or my happiness or anything. I love going to the movies by myself. Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (44:47.469)
Exactly. Have you ever gone to the movies by yourself?
Yeah, I remember the first time like when I went and then my friends were like, what are you doing? I'm like, going to the movies by yourself is the best. Nobody's interrupting you. Nobody's talking to you. You don't have to share your popcorn with anybody. And you're just being like you can laugh if you want to without wondering if your friend's going to think something or whatever the narrative is or whatnot. But yeah, but so many people are afraid to go to the movies by themselves or take themselves on a date.
Jessica Vanrose (45:05.742)
Yes.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (45:22.019)
Like I remember, yeah, like I remember in 2018 before like COVID and everything else, I was taking myself on like dates all the time. I asked my goddaughter, can you watch the twins? Cause I need some alone time for me and like going to Cirque du Soleil by myself, going to eat dinner by myself. So doing these things that yeah, it's nice to have a partner and share those experiences. Yet if it's not there, why would I limit myself from
Jessica Vanrose (45:46.199)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (45:49.911)
going on these experiences and considering it a date with myself.
Jessica Vanrose (45:54.058)
Exactly. And even when you do have a partner, it's still awesome to do that yourself. I, yeah, I would still go out by myself even when I was with somebody because it's like, I say that you're setting the standard. So if I can do something for myself, that means anybody that's coming into my life, you need to do better. like I'm already doing this for myself. So
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (46:00.429)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (46:23.276)
Like if you're going to take up space and time in my life, you have to do better.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (46:28.161)
Yeah, exactly, because I'm not caretaking anymore. I have no problem supporting you, empowering you, reminding you of your greatness, yet I need you to remind me of my greatness and me not treat you like a project because a lot of people that have trauma and if they're in their fawn state, I know if, you know, your listeners understand the fight, flight, freeze or fawn, the activation of the nervous system, that fawn state is that people pleasing state.
Jessica Vanrose (46:31.284)
Yeah, exactly.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (46:55.875)
So you tend to see the potential in people and you want to just bring it out in them and they become like this kind of project and you keep going and going, yet you're not seeing the actual person that's in front of you. And it's like, I'm getting treated like garbage and I just, I can, I can make it work. I can just, you can be polished and it's like, that's not your job, but that's, you know, part of that fawn state. And once you recognize it, then you know, you come out of it and you...
Jessica Vanrose (47:17.708)
Yup.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (47:24.311)
Hold yourself accountable not to get into that bull over the energy.
Jessica Vanrose (47:29.998)
Yeah, that was me for a long time. Like, I can fix him. Like, no girl, focus on yourself, okay? Any, all that fixing you want to do, just focus it here. Yeah. Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (47:32.013)
Yeah, me too.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (47:38.493)
Exactly, exactly.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (47:44.271)
I can nurture, I can love, can do this. And it's like, put it into you. Like, have you even given an ounce of it to yourself? No, no, just let me just work there. Let me go outside. Let me go outside. And it's like, no, come inside. Come inside.
Jessica Vanrose (47:50.303)
Yes.
Jessica Vanrose (47:59.402)
Yes, exactly. Give it to yourself and then when you are full then the other people can have the overflow. Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (48:06.825)
Exactly, exactly. It's that intimacy and as you said, intimacy can feel very threatening, yet people think intimacy is only sexual. And there's such a more profound of intimacy when you're really intimate and honest with yourself and you're accepting all of you, not just certain a la carte parts, but that intimacy and wanting to, you know, relate to yourself in every way and shape and form.
Jessica Vanrose (48:18.082)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (48:25.901)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (48:35.766)
Yeah, for sure. It's it's the being seen like, yeah, being seen for for who you truly are. And that, yeah, like that was always scarier to me than than having sex. Like, if you're just doing the act with no intimacy, like there's because there's nothing there, right? It's so detached. But it's the being seen where
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (48:38.839)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (48:43.565)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (48:51.681)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (48:59.691)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (49:05.3)
It's, yeah, it's scary because you feel you feel that vulnerability. It's like, wow, I'm, you are seeing me for exactly who I am at my core. And if you reject me, then that's, that's, that's that's a wound. Like that's
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (49:25.015)
Yeah, we separate from self because it's too intense. Yet it's, you know, when we feel these deep, heavy emotions, it's learning to not separate from self. But that's work in itself because you want to disassociate and not be in nowhere around that. I don't want to stay around for this. Yet when you do, you're recognizing more and more. there's expectations. There's narratives I created about myself and
Jessica Vanrose (49:29.848)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (49:54.155)
what they're doing has nothing to do with me. Yet it's, you know, this longing and whatever hooks and psychological attachments that you have, you start to dissolve all that and you recognize, okay, it's within me. And if they see my value, then they'll stay around. They won't just stay around in the good times, they'll stay around in the messy because they want to be with me in my wholeness, not just the great parts.
Jessica Vanrose (50:13.123)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (50:19.725)
Yeah.
Exactly. Yes. Yes. Yes. Like, that is key. You don't want somebody to just be there for the sunshine. Yeah. You have the belief that you can make your anxiety into a superpower. And I'm wondering if you can just share your thoughts on that and how we can do that.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (50:23.309)
You want partnership.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (50:32.703)
Yeah, I don't know. No.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (50:49.237)
Again, anxiety needs to be seen, like we just said. And most times anxiety is very annoying because it's quick and it's intense and it sneaks up on us without us even recognizing it. And so again, it's being able to interrupt and face it and ask it, what are you trying to protect? What got activated? What's going on right now? And when you start doing your work, you're releasing experiences and narratives. So
You're seeing, well, this anxiety has been protecting me and coming out because I haven't been able to relate with, say, for instance, you think you cannot accomplish a certain task. You have scripted that in your head, but now you're doing some manifestation and I'm going to complete this task, but you haven't worked on your subconscious that has been scripting. "You can't do this."
Jessica Vanrose (51:35.201)
you
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (51:47.083)
So here comes anxiety. Hey, you've been telling us we can't do this and now you're bringing us into this. no, no, no, no, no. And it's going bonkers, but you're like, I'm going to be the big person and I'm going to navigate. But physiologically it's debilitating you and panic attack or whatnot. It's being able to meet of, okay, I'm going to take this yet slow things down to access physiologically.
Jessica Vanrose (51:55.266)
No.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (52:17.055)
Is anxiety being activated? And how do I meet it? How do I slow things down so that it doesn't feel so threatening? Because I'm going into the unknown and uncertainty and I'm dissolving a script that was created inside me. So there's all kinds of feelings that are going to want to come up and anxiety is going to want to try to protect all of that. So how do I face and acknowledge and call out anxiety?
Most people like when they're like, I have an anxiety issue and I want to get rid of it. I was like, why would you want to get rid of anxiety? It's a part of you. It's like all emotions. Yes, is a pain in the ass when it's overwhelming? Of course. And nowhere. If any listener has severe anxiety, I do not want you to feel belittled or making it seem like this is a wave of a want. No, this is a serious.
Jessica Vanrose (52:52.955)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (53:09.442)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (53:11.465)
psychological and physiological energy that goes on. Yet a lot of it is psychological. And if it is psychological, that means you can do something about it. But many of us don't want to do the work of it because you have to go through the feeling. And it's uncomfortable and we're in a society that, don't feel, let me give you a pill because there's something wrong with you and we don't have time for this.
Jessica Vanrose (53:28.61)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (53:38.561)
And to be able to integrate and have a better relationship with anxiety, you need space and time. You need the messiness of it. But in a society that's go, go, go and be productive and get to the next thing and high achieving and just numb and I have this energy drink for you to just keep going and blah, blah, blah. And then all of a sudden, decades come and then bang, you're like, and then you have this overload of stuff.
Jessica Vanrose (54:06.904)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (54:07.275)
So I just want to validate anybody that is, you know, really being challenged with anxiety to ask it what it's protecting you from and to honor your sensitivity. The world, know, noises may activate you. Touches may activate you. Sense, like smelling something may activate you.
Jessica Vanrose (54:18.52)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (54:32.855)
And it's like, instead of it only being a two for most people, it's a 10 for you. So of course your body is going to be overwhelmed and have that anxiety because it's like alert, alert, alert, alert. So it's creating a lifestyle for yourself of, again, with meditation, they try to tell you to control the environment. It's like, it's not about controlling the environment. It's about you being able to be in the chaos and controlling, you know, your nervous system and regulating it.
Jessica Vanrose (54:37.966)
Mm-hmm.
Jessica Vanrose (54:58.784)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (55:03.265)
and giving yourself breaks. But validate the experience of that anxiety and be curious with it. Ask it why it's here, what is it trying to protect?
Jessica Vanrose (55:03.448)
This is...
Jessica Vanrose (55:15.438)
I had a, let's say full cycle moment a few years ago where like you were just saying, there's something that you're telling yourself that you can't do. And for me, it was hot yoga. So like I mentioned already, I love yoga and hot yoga was always on my mind.
but it was always something that I was like, there is no way, there is no way that I can do hot yoga. Like I'm going to get in the room and I'm going to faint and then everybody's going to be staring at me and they're going to be like, wow, this girl can't handle hot yoga. You know, just the whole story that builds up. So I actually went into a yoga studio that's in my neighborhood and I signed up.
online for just, I think it was like a one month kind of introductory pass. And I looked at all of the classes before I signed up for this because I was like, I know I can't do hot yoga, so there's gotta be something else. So I saw that there were classes that said that they were reduced heat. And I'm like, okay, perfect. I could do that. Like, that's going to be like normal yoga. So I sign up.
I go to my first class and I'm going to the room and it is hot. Okay, it's hot and I am laying on my mat and everything in my mind is just like spinning out of control and I want to get up and leave and I'm like, okay, no, like you are...
you're going to stick this out. If you literally feel like you're going to faint in class, then fine, you can leave. But like, let's try because we're here already. So I stayed for the whole class. I will say it was very challenging. But I stayed for the whole class. And afterwards, I went out and I asked the girl at the front desk, was like, so it said it was reduced heat.
Jessica Vanrose (57:31.598)
And she's like, yeah, that was the reduced heat. wow, OK. So but anyway, my point is now that I love hot yoga. I love it. And so it was just like a whole full cycle moment. And it completely expanded my life, allowing myself to be there in that discomfort.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (57:45.751)
Cool.
Jessica Vanrose (58:01.32)
and stick it through and I sure I had an escape plan in my mind but I was there and I did it and I proved to myself that I could do it and then that anxiety went away.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (58:12.301)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, because the anxiety is stopping you from going into something that you don't think is safe. And you use the word can't. Can't doesn't exist.
Jessica Vanrose (58:26.211)
Yes.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (58:30.187)
But it's a word that we use and if you become mindful and stop remove it from your vocabulary, you will see, I don't know how to say I'm afraid.
Jessica Vanrose (58:40.588)
Yeah. Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (58:42.699)
I don't know how to ask for help.
Jessica Vanrose (58:45.134)
Mmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (58:47.009)
I don't know how to let the instructor know, you know what, I have some anxiety, feelings or worry, and can you just watch out for me just in case.
Jessica Vanrose (58:56.866)
Yeah. Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (58:59.479)
So again, it's befriending the fear so you can find out what is it trying to protect you from. But we use words like can't, which doesn't exist.
Jessica Vanrose (59:05.399)
Yes.
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (59:12.315)
and we use other words that are limiting. So then the anxiety is like, hey, I'm going to throw every kind of narrative to stop you from moving forward because I don't want you to feel any pain. I don't want you to feel any harm. And that doesn't mean physically, it's psychologically. And psychologically, that doesn't feel good in our body at all.
Jessica Vanrose (59:27.788)
Yeah, from moving out of that comfort zone.
Jessica Vanrose (59:37.644)
Yeah. I love that. The fact that can't doesn't exist and it's just fear. you feel, if you have that word come up for you, then it's a fear. That's fantastic. Yeah. Wow.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (59:54.007)
And it's where you can find the narrative. Like I have a friend right now that has pancreatic cancer and she's like, I can't do an MRI. I'm like, I bet you if they told you that you would be in remission and never have cancer, you'd be in the MRI. like, well, yeah. Okay. So why can't, no, I can't, I can't, I can't. So you're choosing when your incentives are good enough to be able to do it.
Jessica Vanrose (01:00:06.977)
yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (01:00:18.081)
We just don't know how to use the language of, you know, I'm in fear.
Jessica Vanrose (01:00:23.682)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (01:00:25.459)
And we use can't to stop us. Yet if we show different scenarios, it's like, well, I would be able to do it then. It's like, you could access the ability because it's put you into an expectation that is enjoyable for you. Yet I've gone through a lot in my life where having the lesions in my brain and
Jessica Vanrose (01:00:28.781)
Yeah.
Jessica Vanrose (01:00:45.496)
Mm-hmm.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (01:00:53.747)
being without a diagnosis and the debilitating pain that I went through and having to learn how to walk again, think again, make decisions, all that. And while parenting to very hyperactive young boys that were twins, twins in its own is its own journey. So it's like, I understand that my experience sometimes is very empowering.
But I'm also lived experience of what's possible if you can access inside your mindset. And I get that I have certain tools because I was an only child. So I didn't have that sibling and somebody and all these kind of things. So I had to, you know, go through life in a lot of unsettling, unsafety kind of experiences. Yet in that, I know what's possible and how our mind tricks us and lies to us in a lot of things. does it too.
Jessica Vanrose (01:01:50.626)
Yeah.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (01:01:51.467)
in a lot of ways. But it's nice when it's we're working together that I can acknowledge the fear and it's like, okay, yeah, this is pretty scary. And there's a lot of possibilities. This could go wrong. There's a lot of possibilities that things will go right. And we will achieve what we're aiming for. We might not get it in a linear way, and it's going to come in a different way, but we will get the result. It may look different than what you were expecting, yet that result will be there.
And that's where your faith comes in with God, Allah, universe, whatever name you call your higher source, your life, you know, essence that it's like it's guiding you and life is for you.
Jessica Vanrose (01:02:33.89)
Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. Do you have any final thoughts or advice? I mean, that feels like a perfect place to end but.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (01:02:46.839)
I want to remind people that with anything with trauma, you need safety. Always ask yourself, you feel safe? And if you want the true healing and change, you have to remind yourself you have to feel. And I know feeling sucks. And I know when we're going through feeling some authentic emotions and having to see our own actions and how we're treating ourselves.
It's very uncomfortable. Yet when you go through it, there's no overcoming. There's no jumping over hurdles. You have to go through it so that you can integrate it and you're no longer splintering yourself. Yet you are worth that work. When you are shining in your light and in your worth, we get the benefit from that. We get infected by that energy. So when you were there for yourself,
We get the benefit from that. So I just want to remind anybody that's listening and you Jessica and myself, so please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself while you're doing this warrior work, because you matter.
Jessica Vanrose (01:04:02.616)
Thank you. Thank you so much for your time and your message and sharing all of your beautiful insight and wisdom.
Natalie (NatNat) LiftOneSelf (01:04:16.149)
It's been an honor. again, like I said, thank you for gifting me the most valuable thing you have, which is your time and your energy. And thank you for the alchemy you're creating in the world. You've taken those impurities and you've turned them into gold and you haven't kept the gold just for yourself. You're sharing it with others. So thank you for creating the change in the world. It's greatly appreciated, Jessica.
Jessica Vanrose (01:04:39.828)
you as well. Thank you.
